In my 28 years of marriage where my wife and I have raised three lovely young men (21-27 years), I have spent too many Christmases stressed out, without any reason. This has affected both my family and myself. I have – unconsciously – organized my work so there was extra time in December. When we arrived at Christmas Eve, I would sometimes eat so much that I was physically feeling bad.
I know that I am not the only one who has had it bad in the Christmas month. Many feel that Dec. forms is somewhat different than what we actually wanted. But why it happens year after year?
Negative thoughts and feelings
The answer lies in our backgrounds. Throughout our lives, we have collected many experiences – good and less good. In my work as a kinesiologist specializing in behavior, I have helped many people to let go of negative thoughts and feelings about special situations – ie bad experiences that have influenced their lives, perhaps even most of their lives.
We humans love – quite innocently and unknowingly – stuck in negative thoughts and emotions, such as:
• I’m stupid
• I can’t figure anything out
• It’s my fault
• I feel trapped
• I’m insignificant
• I feel violated
The thoughts and feelings that have taken hold, lies all the time and working in our subconscious, so it becomes our way to “be normal”, because we do not think we can change them.
Getting rid of the thoughts
The great “news” is that all these thoughts and associated feelings can change. I’ve seen it so many times in my clients.
It starts with a recognition that there is a thought behind every feeling. A sense simply cannot exist without being linked to a thought. No matter how terrible a situation you’ve been in, so you can always change your mind about the situation. You can not change what has happened, but you will continue to hang firmly in mind, you can decide. I refer to a clip from a woman who survived Auschwitz concentration camp in WW2. The clip is publicly available on my facebook profile.
The lady in the clip took advantage of forgiveness, to get his thoughts on life in the concentration camp, where she was exposed to Dr. Mengele atrocities. What she actually did was to recognize that the old thoughts kept her locked.
3 simple principles
If we look beyond this, we see how the human experience of life takes place. Any experience of life is based on three simple principles:
Thought is the force that creates everything that we experience
Consciousness is the force that enables us to experience life
Vitality or universal intelligence is the source and the intelligence behind all life.
The 3 principles in short, what makes that we are able to discover, create and live life.
Together, these three components the golden threads that all human experience is woven from. No one can exist without them. It is the necessary components through which we recognize life. Without them, life could not exist for a single person. They are the psychological trinity behind all human functioning.
The mental immune system
As soon as we recognize that the thoughts we still have are some that we have created, and stick to our consciousness or subconscious, we will be able to change the mind with a more positive, or even better – no thoughts at all. It’s like you’ve seen a movie (your life) when the film is completed, you wake up again.
Part of the realization is that we are not able to control our thoughts. They come and go – it’s tankers nature. But we can choose which thoughts we want to emphasize and do something about.
You know about the physical immune system, but are you aware that we actually have a mental immune system, too? It shall enter into force when we give the law – by not thinking so much. Release the mind, and calm down, so it helps built-mental immune systems you to come up for grabs again.
Stress all year round
Stress actually consists of a myriad of thoughts. The external circumstances have not not affect your stress level. It’s only how you inside yourself reacting to external circumstances, which means something.
Listen to how it feels, not how it is perceived intellectually. It is often our “ego”, which stands in the way of a peaceful and loving life. Ego pops up with all of us, often at the most inconvenient times.
What to do
“Pictures” tells often more than trying to explain something. Therefore, I’ll paint you a “picture”:
If you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, it jumps out immediately, just as we pull your hand away from a hot stove.
But if a frog is placed in a pot of cold water that is slowly heated, discovers the frog does not heat rise, and it is boiled alive.
We people jumping up in the pot when we are very young. We “learn” the way and puts layer upon layer of bad thoughts/habits/behavior to us until one day it becomes too much (water boils).
By listening to your feelings, you get a status on your mental “climate”. Is “water” cold, lukewarm or does it have bubbles?
It’s often difficult to come to these realizations, and you may need to get professional help to move on.
To take advantage of some natural aids, the company LifeWave has developed two products:
• A stress patch that is calming/relaxing
• A combination of supplements and patches, which promotes the body’s own production of endorphins (happiness hormone)
So what happened to my own December stress?
How does all this with my own experience of stress up to Christmas? Well you see, after I have gained a better understanding of tankers nature, is my Christmas month now far more relaxed and lovely. I know the feeling of stress that can emerge, based on old ideas that still abound in my head. And with that realization, I know that I just need to change the tank out with a more positive attitude, everything will be better. So although there is still much work, so I make sure that there is time to enjoy with the family.
If you want help from a coach who will work under the three principles I have described in this article, so drop 3PDK.org. 3PDK is a non-profit association whose purpose is to publicize the three principles of Sydney Banks in Denmark.