Being yourself
Once upon a time I wasn’t being my true self.
I was quite different.
I was the person, I thought, my surroundings wanted me to be. I minimized any personality traits that provoked or challenged my surroundings.
That gave me cancer.
And depression.
Eventually, I got anxiety as well.
My self-esteem was non-existent.
I simply did not believe that I could do something that was good for anything or had any positive impact on the world.
I could not see my own light or my soul magic.
Three months old, I flew from the Caribbean archipelago Denmark – from D to I-land; in West Babylon mecca and was brought up, educated and shaped into a business at breathtaking pace, the main purpose of my services were capitalist profit – probably more for the community than for me.
I could create fabulous creative and artistic projects as grade school, light candles in children and school until bureaucracy, standardization and regulatory requirements, cuts and meetings choked spirit – in school, the kids and me. The death blow came with the minimization of all the aesthetic and cultural creative subjects and activities from our children’s daily learning platform – a highly unintelligent action undertaken by profit-oriented individuals who have contributed to the deterioration of the human consciousness, creativity and spirituality.
Healing and creative expression
Humans’ primary experience of themselves happens while encounting with other individuals and through creative expression. Singing, for example, community strengthening and unifying and contributes to happiness and increased production of endorphins in the brain and body.
Colors have great therapeutic effect on all people and can greatly assist us in expressing our inner. The same word, crafts, musical performance and the oral narrative. It helps the individual’s awareness of itself.
The soul we are.
Why we are here.
What we can contribute with.
What impact we have and what the point of all of it.
The small signals
Before I got cancer, I had four periods of stress over eight years where I both experienced losing my sight, passing out and waking up with cold sweats. This happened after I had missed small signals for far too long, such as palpitations, dizziness, visual disturbances and shakes – without taking myself seriously. I was taught to tighten the buttocks and get into the action.
Just keep working!
No matter what.
Traumatic experiences from childhood and early adulthood was only partly cognitively processed and then swept under the carpet, because I could not continue to cry about the spilled milk – on the hood, down the visor and IND in the match.
So developed my physical body cancer.
It was as if a lightning bolt struck me and blinding me completely.
I risked dying because of the heartless life I had lived.
I had to change course immediately.
I had to get out of the game.
THe heart is the portal
My encounter with cancer opened me for life and for the force I call God.
Life force, creative power, love, spirit!
The cancer made me understand that my physical imbalance was related to my emotional imbalances. The cancer was not just a physical disorder – somatic imbalance had deep roots in my psyche. That repressed trauma, unresolved emotions and especially my non-existent self-esteem made me sick and debilitated my entire system.
Therefore, I realized that the road to recovery for my part went through the heart – through the pain awareness darkness, out into the light insight.
My soul told me that it needed:
- To be listened to
- TimeP
- eace
- Love
- Forgiveness
- Power
When I started listening to my soul, I remembered who I am.
By giving myself time and peace to all, I came into a great love for myself, so I finally be able to forgive myself that I had not taken care of myself.
This peace agreement, which I sealed with a ring and a wedding ritual with myself enabled me to step into my KRAFT.
I took responsibility for my treatment and for the treatment that was right for me to choose. But it was indescribably hard to stand firm against health care, doctors and social workers who were bound by rules and boxes and a constant challenge to be true to myself and say no to help from the public in order to preserve my freedom.
My healing
I accepted that I even had to tailor my healing process, so I got the right help to get back into balance, replacing longtime partly ineffective cognitive therapy cures that redeemed the negative programming at the cellular level level and got my healing to escalate.
I changed my diet and expanded my medical horizons by reading about conventional as well as natural healing.
I resumed the activities that nourished me.
I painted, drew, sang, danced, wrote and played me back to remembrance of who I really am – and I survived!
We would like to just take a pill.
Put the lid on and forget.
We will pass – we have no time for this nonsense!
We need to work!
But I had to take myself seriously and to my environment to respect my needs – I had to listen to myself!
The cancer woke me from a deep sleep illusory, when I thought life was about, doing what others thought was true and right – not what was true for me.
It is my understanding that sometimes we get so far away from our truth that nothing physical can happen to us, that we can begin to listen to this truth again.
My body is my best friend
The cancer made me aware that I needed to heal my emotional trauma and in general all myself holistically. This means that I had to look at both my physical, my emotional (emotional) and my spiritual / inner / spiritual body.
The cancer taught me to love myself enough to be good at all of my body.
The body remembers – and body gossiping. It is your best friend – the friend who tells you the truth, even if it is tiresome to hear.
Enough of the nice girl, the good boy and pleaser-role!
Come home to yourself and know that you are strong enough in yourself.
You do not have to lean on others to pull through.
You can have sparring partners, yes – good friends and sympathetic families – but the knowledge that you can stand themselves, shall join you, to you brave can tread new paths.
SPEAK your truth.
SET your limits by loving YOURSELF.
ASK for help.
TRUST the guidance you receive.
LEARN from every life experience.
FEEL your feelings.
LISTEN to your soul.
SHINE your light!
BE in YOUR FLOW.
GO SLOW.
(- so that you can GROW!)
